Now to something fun! The playoffs. As apparent to anyone this season has been the best in years. Thank god the league is moving away from 90’s-style NBA where the league was incessently trying to find the next Michael Jordan. Instead it seems to be focused on 80’s-style NBA team ball, finding stars Larry Bird or Magic Johnson, or in this season the emergence of Chris Paul and Deron Williams, or even Kobe Bryant not tugging on his wiener too much, but letting his teammates do some of the work.

Was the isolation play not the absolute worst part of basketball for the last 10 years? I could complain about this forever, but then again, I have another 2 years of watching Dwayne Wade do this down in Miami, so maybe I should hold my tongue before the Karmic gods strike me down… I pray for Derrick Rose to save Dwayne from himself.

Yeah, I’m going to do the boring Conference first and you’re going to like it!

1 Boston Celtics versus 8 Atlanta Hawks

The Hawks lost to the Miami D-Leaguers last night, 113-99. Well, that’s alright, not all their starters were playing, and they were resting for the playoffs, right… RIGHT??

Why is Bill Simmons, the Sports Homer, using one of the reasons for why Kevin Garnett should be MVP that he cheers on his team as they run up the score? That is tempting some sort of sports awfulness.

Boston wins in a sweep, 4-0.

2 Detroit Pistons versus 7 Philadelphia 76ers

I honestly don’t think that the Detroit Pistons get as bad a rap as they should. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the “idea” of this team, but there’s only so many times that I can watch ‘Sheed Wallace, Rip Hamilton, or Chauncy Billups complain to the refs. It’s just aggravating. But their whole “we’re a team” dynamic that they’ve had going for a while now has been marvelous. Not to mention “Rip” as a short-name for Richard needs to be implemented in society a lot more.

Here’s the thing, I was watching the “highlights” from that super-infamous fight between the Detroit Pistons and the Indiana Pacers from 2004. I’m not condoning at all the reactions of Stephen Jackson or Ron Artest, but do you realize that situation got as ugly as it did because Ben and Rasheed Wallace would not back off a hard (not even flagrant) foul that Artest committed? Watch it. Artest commits the hard foul, and then Ben Wallace pushes Artest in the throat. Is Artest perpetuating a fight? Not at all. Ben Wallace doesn’t back down an inch. Just something to keep in mind.

Back to the game.

I would like to say that Philadelphia puts up a fight in this series, but I foresee Detroit absolutely smothering the only couple of things that the 76ers have going for them, Andre Iguodala and Andre Miller. On a total side note, when Miller used to play for Cleveland, I always got him on my fantasy teams. I thought he was a really solid Point Guard, along with Brevin Knight. His career numbers are 14points-7.5assists-4rebounds-2.7TOs. What are his numbers this year now that everyone is so “shocked” at what an amazing player he is? 17points-6.9assists-4rebounds-2.5TOs. Facts and perceptions are pretty different, eh?

Anyway, Detroit is going to kill Philly the same way they did to the Chicago Bulls last year when they dominated Ben Gordon and Luol Deng. Unless the Pistons get bored again. So we’ll see.

Detroit over Philly, 4-1.

3 Orlando Magic versus 6 Toronto Raptors

I like when you get in this area of matchups, it leaves a bit of room for interpretation.

Last year I was a lot bigger fan of Toronto than I was this year. I still think they have a great team, Chris Bosh obviously, then two good point guards, TJ Ford and Jose Calderon. Which is really all you need to make a push at the championship right? Great guard play, and good play from your big men.

The one big disappointment is Andrea Bargnani, who burned me worse then a case of the clap this year. Here’s some weird logic on my part, let me trade Ray Allen for Bargnani in the beginning of the year. I mean, what’s Ray Allen good for except some extra 3’s? At least Bargnani will get me 3’s, and some boards and blocks.

Ugh.

Orlando you say? Dwight Howard you say? Uh… Jameer Nelson?

What’s up with former Sacramento King’s Eastern European players making such big impacts on teams this year? Kind of weird.

Hedo Turkoglu is one of the biggest looking douchebags in the NBA. I don’t care what he does off the court, he still looks like a douche. Look at him!

Lack of guard play is going to kill Orlando, but lack of talent is going to kill Toronto even more. I’m going 4-3 Orlando, unless someone on Toronto can really step it up. If it’s Andrea Bargnani I’m going to hunt him down and send a package of anthrax to his house.

Just kidding Sen Daschle.

4 Cleveland Cavaliers versus 5 Washington Bullets

I’m giddy about this matchup. I read Gilbert Arenas‘ blog, I’ve always loved Caron Butler since he and Rasual Butler were the Butler Bro’s down here in Miami.

I don’t know if they were ever called that, but I like it when there’s little odd things like that. Not to mention, playing NBA Live ‘03 and hearing “Butler passes to Butler, who passes to Butler, who passes to Butler.” Marvelous.

Mix in a bit of the beautiful post play of Antawn Jamison, the feud between LeBron James and DeShawn Stevenson, the 3 year in a row playoff meetings… geez. This is definitely going to be the most compelling matchup of the Eastern Conference.

Ben Wallace sucks. Just had to get that cliche out of the way. But he does, and that’s a shame, Cleveland didn’t do much to try to keep LeBron James with that move. See ya in the Bronx soon.

I said this before in the blog, but I think the best part of that trade was Cleveland getting Delonte West. I just have always been impressed with the guy.

Maybe it’s the tattoo on his neck?

Cleveland finally has a pretty good point guard, and don’t have to run their offense through Larry friggin’ Hughes. I just don’t think Cleveland is as out-of-sync as people portray it.

What do you think their offensive playbook looks like? Is every page just stamped with “Pass to LBJ”?

Also, tell me playing a rival like Washington won’t get the Cavs on the same page fast?

Unfortunately this also seems like a matchup of two fairly unremarkable teams. I really wish I could love the hell out of Washington, but what’s the difference between them and the New Jersey Nets of the last half decade? It’s not exactly the same, but close enough for it to suck.

No big man means no championship in the NBA, unless you’re Michael Jordan. That goes for both Washington and Cleveland.

I really really don’t want to say this, but I think rationally I know that Cleveland is going to win the series 4-2. But who cares about rationality I’m going Washington 4-2. Oddly enough, both possibilities are perfectly reasonable.

My ass isn’t even going to attempt to leave the couch this Saturday. I hope Papa John’s has a good pizza special.

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