I have a long running love affair with The Real World.  The first season that I consistently watched was TRW 2: Los Angeles.  That’s 19 years of watching every season of The Real World.

MTV gave us a little teaser this year between seasons, marking their 20th year anniversary with a TRW Awards Show.  I only made it part way through it, because there’s only so much reminiscing someone can do over the show.

Isn’t that counter to the essence of the program anyway?  Yes, they’re cute and lovable inside of the house, but as soon as they’re out they are any other drunken college partier who now has (probably even had) a sense of entitlement due to their 15 seconds of fame. 

It was odd to see Nathan from Seattle RW get really worn out and ugly.  Eric Nies isn’t quite so sexy anymore.  Ace from Paris RW lives in his parents basement.  These are all things I don’t want to know.

You were the sexy person, you were the angry homosexual, you were the intellectual black guy… really, the real world is not about what’s real, but about a television show.  And reruns aren’t supposed to grow old and saggy.  Sorry guys.

But thankfully MTV didn’t deprive us that long, and this past week marked the beginning of the new season, The Real World XX: Hollywood.

Highlights:

1.  Look at this quote about Sarah from Wikipedia: “Sarah is a feminist and aspiring broadcast journalist with some strong conservative, traditional views.”  And what’s the first thing she does?  She friggin’ starts trying to hook up with Will!  She turns to him and says, “I’m done with my gum, can you take it?”, sticks out her tongue, and Will licks it out of her mouth.  Also, guys note the “girl trick” of, “oh, I conveniently left my purse inside the house.  Will, can you go and help me find it?”  Lovely.

2.  Will, Will, Will… god you hurt my manhood.  In the first episode he’s already fallen in love with 2 out of 3 of the girls in the house, only to drop off Brianna because she’s a stripper.  What’s up with telling girls you have a “kindergarten crush” on them?  I mean, yeah, it’s cute and all, but then when Sarah gets in your face you don’t do anything about it?  Come on man.

3.  I’ve never gotten this about certain people, but what would ever possess Joey to put his hair in the way he does?  It jis completely illogical that anyone could ever look at this guy and think that looks good and not weird.  It’s so odd.  Here are Joey highlights to look forward to:  hooking up with Brianna, punching things, admitting that he was sexually molested at some point (my prediction), and last but not least, punching RW mega bad guy Greg in the face.  Which leads me to…

4.  Greg!  Oh my god, has there never been a more compelling Real World Villain than Greg?  The only other person I could think of who made less effort to get along with people in the house is the original reality TV bad guy, Puck.  At least Puck made an effort to be friends with everyone in the beginning, right?  Greg is totally unashamed of being a douchebag.  He fucking calls people peasants and associates!  This is amazing.  I have never, ever, ever been more curious to see what someone will do on the show.

Preditions:

1.  Joey gets kicked out of the house because he slugs Greg in the face.  And hard too.
2.  Brianna gets kicked out of the house because she’s a crack-whore.
3.  In the vein of Mike from the Miami cast and Frank from Las Vegas, Will is going to be another love-sick dork who will never be shown hooking up with girls.
4.  David and Kimberly are OBVIOUSLY going to hook up, but so are Joey and Brianna, only to have it crash and burn in a really ugly way.  Those two personalities together?  Wow.
5.  Is there potential for another skat player song this season like the one from David (New Orleans)?  And why can’t this song be found on YouTube?  Anyone who works for MTV can you please go through the archives and find this, for the sake of the world?!

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