Alan Parsons Project’s Sirius blares through the speakers at the Arena di Verona in Verona, Italy.

An overly enthusiastic announcer voice comes through at an obnoxious level….

“Everyone get on your feet, as we introduce your 2008 NBA Greasy International All-Stars….”

“Starting at Center, from the San Antonio Spurs, Fabricio Oberto…”

“Next, starting at Power Forward, from the Houston Rockets, Luis “the grease” Scola…”

“Small Foward, from the Orlando Magic, Hedo ”not bathe” Turkoglu…”

“At guard, from the Los Angeles Lakers, Sasha “what’s a shower?” Vujacic…”

 ”And last, your team captain, from the San Antonio Spurs, Manu “the spot” Ginobili!!”

Ok, so I have a confession to make.  After dedicating my enitre day to watching Day 1 of the NBA Playoffs, I didn’t quite make it through all of Day 2.  I tried though!  I had to go to passover dinner, so that interrupted things.

Nonetheless, Day 2 was a much less compelling matchup then Day 1 anyways.  There were three games from the Eastern Conference (Philadelphia 76ers at Detroit Pistons, Atlanta Hawks at Boston Celtics, and Toronto Raptors at Orlando Magic), and only one from the Western Conference (Denver Nuggets at Los Angeles Lakers) - which was a 1 seed versus an 8 seed.

I didn’t expect any of the days games to offer any sort of challenge to the higher seeded teams, considering the difference in talents in the Eastern Conference, and the 1 and 8 seed difference in the West.  The only surprise was the fight that Philly put up against Detroit to rally back and win the first game.  This may have been the worst thing for Philly to have done.  I wouldn’t be surprised if losing the first game shocks Detroit back into action, and they sweep the rest of the games against Philly.  It wasn’t even like Philly played well the whole game, they just caught Detroit nodding off.

Here’s some other things I noticed from Day 2:

• The Lakers are a big, big team, ala Coach Phil Jackson’s style.  People really downplay the effect of having Lamar Odom as their small forward.  With him on the floor, you have three 7-footers in the front court!  I just can’t get over that.  Also, Kobe Bryant is a tall shooting guard (just like Michael Jordan).  Put it all together, and you have a huge team.
• Well Jameer Nelson really made me look pretty stupid, huh?  After I said that he was basically worthless in my Eastern Conference preview post, he goes and drops a 27 point-7 assist game.
• Is every single Raptors fan smacking themselves in the face over Andrei Bargnani?  God does that guy look like a little bitch.  Dude, you’re seven feet!  Ok, yes, I know, I know two bullets above this I’m raving about the Lakers three 7-footers… but at least they play like it.
• I feel a little bad for the Hawks.  I’m a perpetual underdog rooter, so it’s disappointing to me that they have absolutely no chance of winning even one game.

Anyone who missed it didn’t miss much, I promise.

Day 3 was a totally different story though.  Me and my fascination for the Washington Wizards is starting to look like not that great an investment of fandom.  Gilbert Arenas is playing terribly, but Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler have all but completely disappeared as well.  All together they were a combined 10-36!  No one on their entire team broke 12 points!  My god.

But here’s what really doesn’t make sense.  Antawn Jamison may have one of the best post games in the entire NBA.  How many times did he post up?  0.  How many three pointers did he launch?  3.  I love shot charts because they really can tell the story of the game.  In the first quarter Washington missed almost everything right next to the basket.  From that point forward, they took more and more shots away from the basket.  You know what that says to me?  For as physical as Washington was, so was Cleveland.  As Reggie “there are no easy layups in the playoffs” Miller kept saying, “there are no easy layups in the playoffs.”  How does LeBron James and the rest of Cleveland respond?  By getting pissed off and hitting the hole even more (sports based sexual innuendo).  What does Washington do?  Take more jumpshots.

Washington is done.  I’m thinking they can take one game or two when their shots start falling, but no team can ever succeed if they’re reduced to taking jumpshots, not playing down low, and not hitting the boards.  Such a shame, I had really big hopes for them.

After that TNT blessed the basketball viewing public with a great game, Utah Jazz at Houston Rockets.  I hate to keep saying this, but Houson can not keep up with the Jazz.  Think about it, the Jazz have 3 or 4 solid players on the floor for most of the game.  Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer, Andrei Kirilenko, and Mehmet Okur.  Even worse, bring Paul Millsap and Kyle Korver off the bench, and that team is rotating around a really good group of players.  Houston, who I do like just for the fact that they are such hardworkers and effort guys, just can not keep up.  By the way, that’s a pretty All-American philosophy, wouldn’t you say? 

On a side note, doesn’t Kyle Korver look like teenage Dexter from Showtime’s Dexter?

Then again, all white people look alike to me.

Day 4 didn’t leave me with much to rant and rave about.

If I were a Phoenix fan I wouldn’t worry too much about losing the first two games to San Antonio.  I almost want to guarantee that the Suns will take both games back at home.  They just need SOMEONE to step up that’s a role player.  Boris Diaw or Raja Bell, shit bring Darryl Strawberry’s kid off the bench.  We saw what Darryl has done on a bit of blow over his career.  It’s just a thought.

How bad does Dallas look?  Even better, how friggin great does New Orleans look?  I think that the Hornets may have the best starting 5 in the playoffs.  Chris Paul is breathtaking, David West, Peja Stojakovic (spell that 3 times fast), Tyson Chandler, and even lowly Morris Peterson seem unmatched.

Also, does any other team have side gimmicks going quite like the Ric Flair “Wooooooo” after a good play by CP3?  Or even better, the giagantic cutout faces of Peja being run around New Orleans Arena whenever Peja hits a 3-pointer?  Man, it’s the little things that makes me love sports.

Tonight is going to be a crapfest with the Denver Nuggets and Los Angeles Lakers playing the late game, and the even better opening act of Boston Celtics versus Atlanta Hawks.  Oh well, I’ll probably watch both anyways.

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