Holy shit!  MTV went all out this year in finding nut jobs, eh?  Is there a majority of crazy people this year?

I skipped over Episode 2 because it really wasn’t all that interesting, as most early episodes aren’t.  I gotta say, I’m really not digging this 13 episode format this year, which has led to hour long episodes.  Um, by the way, how does MTV explain away that they could only have 13 episodes because of the Writer’s Strike?  Hmmm…

Ok, so I’m charging up my batteries, and I’m trying to remember if there has ever been a pair of nuttier psychopaths in a Real World house than Greg and Joey?  The only thing that really comes to mind is Real World Seattle and the mayhem that was Irene and Steven.  But at least in that house everyone else was at least gave balance.

Look at how the characters are playing out this season:

Greg - Psychopath number one.  Narcissist, sociopath, and ”trickster”.  Over the years there’s been pranksters in RW Houses, but at least there seemed to be some light-heartedness to it.  Is it me or does it seem like Greg tortured cats and dogs growing up?

Joey - “One day you will all look back and miss me, because I’ll be dead.  Life sucks!”  Wow.  Wow.  Doe-eyed positive attitude Joey is about two vodka and redbulls away from locking a 20 year old girl in a well in his basement yelling at her, “it puts the lotion on its skin!”  Has anyone been more Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde then this guy?  Sober he’s the understanding, positive-minded cool guy that everyone loves… give him a couple of shots, and he’s the angry arm wrestling, girl beating, scourge of the house. 

By the way, Joey reminds me of almost EVERY Alcoholics Anonymous person I’ve ever known in my life.  You hang out with them, and it’s like, “wow, this guy is really nice… wait, that’s kind of weird… yeah… um… he’s nice… why is he beating up that old lady?”  They just always have forced and false positivity, right?  Like a person who smiles so hard that their face turns red and that little vein pops out of their forehead, saying through tightly clenched teeth, “I AM HAPPY, I AM POSITIVE, I AM HAPPY, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL…”  So creepy.

Also, the reason why Joey is less psycho than Greg is because Joey just has problems.  He has some seriously fucked up self-esteem issues, and they all culminate when he drinks or uses drugs.  Greg on the other hand is SPECIFICALLY doing bad intentioned things.  Joey may have problems, but Greg is a BAD PERSON.

Brianna - Is she white?  I completely can’t tell.  I mean, I know she’s a blonde, I know her skin is totally white, but everything else says black.  It even seems like she’s albino or something, and if she is, then why is RW not playing into this more?  “Life as an albino black girl is hard…”  Well, the season is young. 

She had my favorite quote on the show so far, well until Joey’s drunken crying tirade about killing himself, when she yelled at… token? white girl Kimberly, “watch where you sleep ho!”  Marvelous. 

She’s a stripper, she gets offended when she’s called ghetto, she got arrested before coming to the show, she hooks up with a guy named Jo Jo - who mulitple times was referred to as a “walking STD”, she toys with Joey even though everyone in the house has realized he’s the next Ted Bundy, and this is by Episode 3!  Jesus.

Sarah - doesn’t she seem like she instigates a lot of problems?  Didn’t she instigate Greg when he first came to the house?  Didn’t she talk to Kimberly about Brianna’s problems?  Didn’t she talk to Brianna about what a psycho Joey is?  Outwardly she’s not as psychotic as the top three, but having a person who riles a house full of psychos up can’t be a bad thing, right?

Kimberly - well, I wouldn’t go so far as saying that she’s a psycho as much as I would say she has what I call “White Majority Syndrome” or WMS.  I lived in the South for about 5 years, and that area is a hotbed for WMS.  Typical symptoms of WMS float around a sense of complete naivity and unawareness of racism existing.  WMS sufferers are typically shocked and disbelieve that there is such an existance of racism.  This stems from the fact that racism has never happened to them (obviously).  When confronted over the existence of racism, the vast majority of WMS sufferers will not only disbelieve it, they will chastize YOU for being “racist”.

William - he’s harmless… but in a sad way.  He’s lovable… in that “aw poor guy” sort of way.  I can relate a lot to Will.  He falls in love really easily, he tries to get everyone to like him, he’s really well intentioned.  There’s just something off.  Also, someone who acts like Will typically gets trampled.  So that’s what I’m placing my money on.

Dave - Dave is the only “normal” person in the house this year.  Not only does he seem normal, but it seems like he is going to stay totally out of all the bullshit that is going to happen this year.  And by stay out of it, I mean, watch from the corner and laugh about it. 

Sure he’s hooking up with Kimberly, but doesn’t it seem normal?  Look at him compared to Will or Joey.  Will chases after Sarah, and everything is a big deal and overly serious and overly romantic.  Joey goes after Brianna, and everything is a big deal, he is constantly making comments about how she won’t hook up with him.  And finally, Dave is out having fun, he doesn’t have issues, he’s happy, he’s cool, and bam… he’s hooking up with one of the girls.  Good for you Dave, keep that sanity going.

From my predictions from Episode 1, number 4 has already come to fruition,

4.  David and Kimberly are OBVIOUSLY going to hook up, but so are Joey and Brianna, only to have it crash and burn in a really ugly way.  Those two personalities together?  Wow.

Can’t wait for the rest.

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